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Again, the story continues well and I like direction its heading. I really envisioned a nice place on the side when I was reading over this. Everything is well written and fits nicely.

The biggest complaint I have though (and the reason I only gave impact a 3 1/2) Is with the interview interruptions I feel you lose some of that flow. I really don't know why, but it could be all of the sudden jumps and maybe the way some of the interviews end. Could be just me but I suggest trying to find a balance between the story and the interviews. Aside from that I really love this story and I'll gladly watch you to keep an update on how its going.

To anyone reading the critiques before reading the story. Go ahead and do it. You'll find an interesting story to be told and you won't regret it!
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.


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